i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
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dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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