You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
