Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
