So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
