so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
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We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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