I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
