I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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