Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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