if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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