i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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