day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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