you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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