i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
