Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my shit smells like andre
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
