Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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