Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize