When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
