You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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