What did we do last night that was yellow?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
