Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
worst night to have a conscience
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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