Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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