Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
