I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
