If i come over, it means nothing
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
