i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
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The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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