Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
