ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
