We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
