she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Are we still banned from the library?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
