Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
