I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
