we made out on top of his cat.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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