brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
