I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
