So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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