i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
