After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
