i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
