I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
