So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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