Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
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New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
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I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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