Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
