You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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