Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
