I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize