apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
