I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
