I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize