it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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