I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
