I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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