do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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