i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
