we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
