a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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