The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
