you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
