Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
