i would punch a child for taco bell
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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