And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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