anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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